About
the Author
Elizabeth Joan Jennings was an English poet.
She was born on July 18, 1926, Boston, Lincolnshire, England. When she was six, her
family moved to Oxford, where she remained for the rest of her life. There she
later attended St Anne's College. After graduation, she became a writer. Jennings'
early poetry was published in journals such as Oxford Poetry, New English
Weekly, The Spectator, Outposts and Poetry Review, but her first book was not
published until she was 27. Her works
relate intensely personal matters in a plainspoken, traditional and objective
style. She died on October 26, 2001 in Bampton, Oxford shire.
Poem –
Father to Son
I
do not understand this child
Though we have lived together now
In the same house for years. I know
Nothing of him, so try to build
Up a relationship from how
He was when small. Yet have I killed
The seed I spent or sown it where
The land is his and none of mine?
We
speak like strangers, there's no sign
Of understanding in the air.
This child is built to my design
Yet what he loves I cannot share.
Silence surrounds us. I would have
Him prodigal, returning to
His father's house, the home he knew
Rather than see him make and move
His world. I would forgive him too,
Shaping from sorrow a new love.
Father and son, we both must live
On the same globe and the same land.
He speaks: I cannot understand
Myself, why anger grows from grief.
We each put out an empty hand,
Longing for something to forgive.
Introduction
The poem brings out the agony of a father who
has lost all kinship with his son. The son is now grown-up. He lives in his own
world. He has no feeling of any relationship with his father. The father
bitterly feels the pangs of this emotional separation. He wants the same kind
of bond with his son as he had when the son was a little child. Instead of
coming together they are drifting apart. There is a gap of understanding and
communication.
Such a situation is a common feature in most of
the families. The new generation wants to live life on its own terms. The
youngsters think independently. They cease to be on talking terms. Father feels
helpless. He is ready to forgive the child provided the latter fees sorry. But
he rarely tries to understand the young boy’s likes and dislikes, demands and
dreams. The conflict is never resolved because they refuse to compromise.
Summary
The father complains that he does not
understand his own child. Though they have lived together for so many
years under the same roof. The father tries to build up a relationship with his
son from the early years, in a manner when his son began to recognize people
around, to crawl and to walk in a desperate attempt. The father wonders whether
he has destroyed the seed of his off-spring or sown it where the land belongs
to his heir and none is his. Both father and son continue to speak like strangers
now and there seem no signs of understanding in the air between the two. In
traditional belief, the son is created and born to the likings and designs of
his father, yet in this case, the father cannot share what his son loves. Most
of the time silence surrounds them. The father’s greatest wish is for his son
to be ‘The Prodigal’ son who will very soon return to his father’s house; the
home which he always knew. This is definitely the better alternative rather
than to see his son move out into the world blindly on his own, by himself and
fall into trouble. The father is ready to forgive him at any cost as long as he
is able to reshape him up from the long bounded sorrow to a new love. Both
father and son all over the world must learn to live on the same globe and on
the same land. The father finally admits that there are times that he cannot
understand himself or why his anger grows from grief? However they have learnt
to put out each other’s empty hand and with each other’s heart that is longing
for something to forgive.
Detailed
Explanation
The theme of the poem is the generation gap
which occurs when the communication link between two generations breaks due to
a mutual lack of understanding, tolerance and acceptance. The poem highlights
the internal conflict a father undergoes when his son becomes old enough to
define his own interests, thoughts and perceptions. The brooding father
complains that he cannot understand his child despite having lived together for
many years in the same house. The father tries to continue a relationship based
on what he knew of the son from his youngest years but of course, the son has
change over time. The tone is almost pleading, attempting to find a link
with his grown up son.
Using a typically agrarian imagery, he
questions whether he has already lost his own child, his son, due to this
distance between them or was the son on a mental plane that was entirely his
own and which, the father cannot access. The father uses ‘I’ in these lines
acknowledging his own role in creating this communication gap between them.
The father and son have become strangers with
no understanding of each other. Traditionally, the son’s upbringing is in
the very environment and with the values the father provided. Thus, the father
feels his son is built to his design and should be like his father in most
aspects. However, his son now has interests the father cannot share. There is
no shared passion, no common ground. Most times, there is only an awkward
silence between them. The frustration of the father is evident as he
struggles to understand why his own son, his flesh and blood, has turned into
an absolute stranger.
The father in the poem sees his child as the
prodigal (spendthrift, underlying implication: foolish) son and wants him to
return to the home he has always known. He does not want the son to make his
own world, away from his father. The father says he would forgive his son if he
asked for forgiveness like the prodigal son. He would love him again despite
the sorrow of the distance that existed between them once. The tone is
slightly condescending and implies that the father is unable to let his son go,
even at the cost of restricting the son's personal development and
independence.
The son admits that he is at a point where he
is struggling to understand even himself. He does feel the grief of the broken
relationship he shares his father and yet, there is an anger that arises out of
his confused, fraught inner self. The son speaks for the first time and it
is quite clear, that the frustration lies on both sides. Pablo Neruda once
commented on the sadness that arose from being unable to understand oneself.
The son seems to be in the same confused, sad and yet, angry phase of growth.
This stanza is reminiscent of the poem 'Childhood' which outlines a child's
struggled to understand himself as he turns into a young adult.
The father concludes the poem realizing that in
their hearts, each of them wants to forgive the other. However, neither wants
to take the first step and ask for forgiveness. Each puts out an
empty hand for the other to take, but neither places theirs in the
other’s hand. However, it is positive that at least they long to
forgive and find a way to make things work.
Usually, by the time parents accept the new
individuality of their children, the damage has already been done and the
process of coming together is difficult and painful. Respecting each
other’s’ differences is the only way to alleviate the distance, the
strange and awkward silence.
While the father’s anguish and frustration is
highlighted, the ego comes through as well. It is also noteworthy that the poem
is written by a woman and not a man. A number of questions remain open to
speculation.
THE
PRODIGAL SON is a Biblical reference from the New Testament's
parables of Jesus. The story is of a father with two sons. The younger demanded
his inheritance despite the fact that traditionally, the eldest born is heir.
The father accedes and the spoilt younger son leaves home. He spends his
fortune foolishly, eventually returning to his father's house with barely a
stitch of cloth on his body. The father forgives him, and welcomes him into his
embrace with open arms and a celebratory feast. Artist Pompeo Batoni
represented this parable beautifully through the following painting:
Important Extracts
1. Read
the extract given below and answer the questions that follow:
I do not understand this child
Though we have lived together now
In the same house for years. I know
Nothing of him, so try to build
Up a relationship from how
He was when small.
Q1. Who
have lived in the same house? How long?
Ans. The father and the son
have lived in the same house for years.
Q2. Why
does the father say that he knows nothing of him?
Ans. They live like
strangers in the same house. Complete silence surrounds them when they are each
other’s presence. That’s why he says that he knows nothing of his son.
Q3. What
kind of relationship does he want to build up?
Ans. He wants to build up
the same kind of relationship as he used to have when his son was a little
child.
2. Read
the extract given below and answer the questions that follow:
Yet have I killed
The seed I spent or sown it where
The land is his and none of mine?
We speak like strangers, there's no sign
Of understanding in the air.
Q1. What
does the word ‘seed’ signify?
Ans. The word ‘seed’ here
refers to all the hard work the father had to do to bring up the child.
Q2. What
‘land’ does the speaker speak of?
Ans. The child’s mind is
the land into which the father had tried to sow the seeds of his thoughts.
Q3. Why
do they speak like strangers?
Ans. They speak like
strangers because they have different ways of life and thoughts.
Q3. Read
the extract given below and answer the questions that follow:
This child is built to my design
Yet what he loves I cannot share.
Silence surrounds us.
I would have him prodigal,
returning to
His father's house, the home he
knew,
Rather than see him make and move
His world. I would forgive him
too,
Shaping from sorrow a new love.
Q1. What
kind of child had he desired to design?
Ans. He had desired to
design a child who shared his likes and dislikes.
Q2. Why
does the speaker say ‘this child’ not ‘my child’?
Ans.
Because the child has nothing common with him.
Q3.
Explain: ‘Silence surrounds us’.
Ans. There is no
communication at all between the father and the son. There is complete silence
when they are each other’s presence.
Q4. What
does the father want his son to do?
Ans. He wants his son to
come back to his father’s home.
Q5. What
is the father prepared to accept?
Ans. He is prepared to
accept his so with all his profligacy.
Q6. What
does the father not want his son to do?
Ans. The father doesn’t
want his son to make a new world of his own and move into it.
Q7. What
would the father do to shape a new love from sorrow?
Ans. He would forgive his
son for whatever sorrow he has given him.
Q4. Read
the extract given below and answer the questions that follow:
Father and son, we both must live
On the same globe and the same land.
He speaks: I cannot understand
Myself, why anger grows from grief.
We each put out an empty hand,
Q1. How
does the poet feel when his relationship with his son comes under strain?
Ans. The poet is keen to
save the blood ties with his son. He wants the son to return to his old house.
Q2. What
could be the cause for their distancing from each other?
Ans. The cause of the
growing gap between the dad and his son is lack of understanding. Both need
each other, yet they turn apart because of ego-problem.
Q3. What
do both father and son long for?
Ans. They long for an
excuse to forgive each other.
Q4. What do
the words ‘an empty hand’ signify?
Ans. The words ‘an empty
hand’ signify that neither father nor the son has gained anything from their
state of estrangement. Both of them are empty handed.
Q5. What
can’t the father understand?
Ans. The father can’t
understand why he becomes angry in his grief.
Q6. Does
the poem have a consistent rhyme scheme?
Ans. Yes, the rhyme scheme
in each stanza is abbaba.
Short Answer Type Questions
Q1. Why is
the father unhappy with his son?
Ans. The father is unhappy
with his son as there is no interaction between the two. They don't understand
each other and are like strangers. Though they live under the same roof, yet
they have nothing common between them. Their thinking and outlook are totally
different. So they remain separated from each other. So, the father is deeply
troubled.
Q2. What
does the father long for?
Ans. The father is much
more tense and upset. He fails to see where he made a mistake. He wants to make
peace with his son and keep him in the same house. He is willing to forget and
forgive the boy. He is only waiting for an excuse.
Q3. Can
you suggest a solution to the widening gap between father and son?
Ans. The tussle between the
aged and the youth is very old and universal. Elders see young ones as their
property and try to impose their will on them. As a result the son revolts. The
father must try to understand and respect the demands of the son. Not rod but
the language of love can bridge the gap and avert the clash.
Q4. Who do
you sympathize with—the father or the son?
Ans. Being a youngster, I
also often revolt against the authoritarian attitude of elders. They have ego
problem. They demand total obedience from young ones. I know that the
relationship between father and son is strong yet delicate as well. I would
humbly advise grown-ups to be a bit more flexible and liberal in their attitude.
In bending, they both will win.
Q5. How is
the father's helplessness brought out in the poem?
Ans. The father is not only
sad but also angry. But he feels helpless. He is ready to patch up with the
son, forgive him and bring him back home at any cost. He wonders why they have
now become strangers. He is ready to overlook his son's wasteful habits. He is
extending his empty hand to get an excuse to welcome the boy into his old home.
But the son looks adamant. Ego problem persists.
Q6. Why is
the father unable to understand his son in Father to Son”?
Ans. The father is unable
to understand his son due to generation gap. It is a psychological and
emotional gap between parents or elder people and the young ones. This creates
misunderstanding and lack of attachment between the parents and children. The
success lies in how effectively the parents can avoid the generation gap or
ignore difference with their children.
Q7. 'I
would have him prodigal'. What does the father mean by this?
Ans. Prodigal means
wastefully extravagant. In the Bible there is a story, where a father inherits
property and gives it to his sons. The younger son wastes a lot but returns to
his father's home. His father forgives him and takes him back home. Here in the
poem the father is ready to accept his prodigal son and he may start living
with him under the same roof.
Q8. What
does the poet mean by `silence surrounds us?
Ans. The father is troubled
because there is no interaction between them. Though they have been living
under the same roof for years but they do not understand each other and live
like strangers. Their outlook and temperament are different. They have a
communication gap along with the generation gap. So both are unhappy and want
to come closer but they can't help it.
Long Answer Type Questions
Q1. Why in
your view has a sense of distance arrived in the modern youth?
Ans. The present era has
lost all its ancient moral, ethical, social and cultural values. The deep sense
of joint family system is diminishing to a large extent. The newly married
couple wants to lead a life to its own freedom duly away from the parents. They
think that the joint family or parents living with them will put a restraint on
their freedom.
They fail to understand the real worth of their
parents and long to have a deeper distance from them. The media and the western
civilization have surrounded their ideology. They do not care for the civility
in any sense. Thus the distance is taking its deep root among the youths. They
do not realize their duties for the old aged parents rather they consider it an
extra burden upon them. Thus a sense of distance has become in vogue among the
modern youths.
Q2. The
poem reflects the realities of the modern times. The aged persons face problems
and there is no end to it. How do you feel?
Ans. The breaking-up of the
joint family system and the change in our value system have created serious
problems for the aged persons. They are denied physical, moral, financial and
emotional support because their children are grossly involved in their own
affairs. A feeling that they are unwanted persons has gripped the aged. The
attitude towards the aged is marked by hatred, disregard, apathy and insults.
This drowns them in the fathomless chasm of depression. Above all, elderly
persons having no source of income are the worst sufferers. Growing materialism
is the main culprit. Blood is no longer thicker than water. An elderly person
who stands between the heirs and his wealth becomes a thorn in their flesh. Many
start torturing the aged to death.
The aged persons require nothing but love,
affection and respect. So the children must change their attitude. They must
not neglect the very source of their existence. Accept the aged happily and see
the blessings of God showering in rapid succession.